Thursday 17 September 2020

And then

 Where was I?

Thank you for all your comments.

I've contacted my Dr's surgery, the local hospital and various other places.

These are the replies I have received, apologies as some of the replies refer to questions I asked on a FB page for women boaters and on a hearing loss group.

I've emailed the hospital about how my hearing problems are affecting my mental health but there are so many people with the same problem  that they are only doing f2f appointments for serious problems, mine isn't serious enough.

I emailed the Dr's, they are also only doing f2f for serious cases. They cannot help with getting me an audiology appointment as the rules is the rules. They cannot help with my mental health as there are so many people who are struggling. They offered to send me a copy of their carers email, I receive this anyway, or I used to they stopped sending it out about 6 months ago for some reason.

My children are aware how bad things are but cannot help, two of them are now in quarantine because of covid, DD1 has six children so I cannot visit her as here are too many of them.

I asked for suggestions on a local boater group with regards meeting up and explained that I had problems hearing, someone said I needed to ask people to speak up, well bugger me sideways, I'd never have thought of that! Of course I ask people to speak up but they forget.

Someone suggested I take up patchwork but as I cannot see well enough to sew this isn't feasible. 

I'm not sure things would be any easier if we moved on to dry land. We have an address, if anything was available we would be able to access it and anything we could afford wouldn't be very big. We will be in the marina from November so I will not be doing locks then.

I have contacted an assortment of charities since Steve's stroke but the Stroke Association was the only one who could offer any help and they have now closed down.

We do currently have a lovely mooring though we need to move on tomorrow.


cumbrian said...

Sounds about right, about as much use as a lead parachute?

JanF said...

Oh dear, you have certainly reached out for help. At least you are able to enjoy the beautiful places where you moor and I hope that just needing to move today might help a little.

Tracy said...

My personal experience is that our health services have just about ground to a halt, despite what we are told. I don't really have any ideas to offer, but just wanted to urge you to continue to share your worries on here and know that you will always find ears willing to listen and caring folk willing to make suggestions.

The Weaver of Grass said...

I agree with Tracy above - a problem shared is a problem halved. I have severe hearing loss in both ears and often don't hear what people say. Most of the time it doesn't really matter and I make a non committal reply. And if the information they are giving me is important I ask them to speak up and tell them I am very deaf I also have a land line telephone with a volume button I can press.

Ellen D. said...

I wish I could help but wishing doesn't really help you! As others have said, I am here to listen when you need to vent. Share the worries whenever it helps you.

Hound of Hecate said...

It's a nightmare getting mental health help, but may be easier than audiology if you can try self help. The evidence is actually that self help is at least as good as therapy with another person.
The NHS has a page of resources:
If you want in person work you should be able to refer yourself to your local IAPT ( improving access to psychological therapies) service who if you explain your situation may be able to do work by phone or even online - especially under covid.
If you prefer books there are many self help books - I get that you have hearing problems but some should be available for Kindle.
If you also have anxiety Self Help for your Nerves has been around forever and is excellent.
Some people don't like the idea of antidepressants but I have found them helpful as a crutch through low times.
Not a full answer to your problem but hopefully some signposts to help you chip away at it in your preferred way in your circumstances.

Hound of Hecate said...

I forgot to say if you want me to do a spell candle for you, happy to oblige.

crafty cat corner said...

Like so many people you are being neglected. Tom has a terminal illness and is on oxygen in order to get around. After finding out for ourselves that his oxygen levels were too low they supplied the oxygen, since them we may as well be on the moon as we have had no more contact with anyone.
We, like you have been dropped from the system as non urgent.
I would suggest reading a few books to help you, there are plenty out there to choose from, that's how I get by when things get too much for me.
By the way, Tom is also deaf and I am the parrot of the household repeating most things as least 3 times. lol
Try not to let the buggers get you down.

justjill said...

I am also here for you to rant with. I suffer with anxiety and everyone sees me as super confident. Huh.

flis said...

I find my days difficult still but have done with spending too much time helping the person with problems as I have realised I can't sort it alone-I have to be a bit selfish for my sanity and general health x

lincolnshireexileinEssex said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beacee said...

Hugs x

Kath said...

Are you happy to continue living on the water? I think perhaps you are otherwise you would have moved to dry land by now as you say you have the resources and that something you could afford would be small.

Your commenters have good advice but you don't seem to have had success with the ones you tried.
Did you follow the advice of one commenter who said she got help from her local authority adult care services?
If you say you need help for your partner they will have to act in his "best interests" if you say you're no longer able to care for him.

Is it just me or....? said...

Have you tried your local Talking Therapies service, you can normally self refer via an online form.

Anonymous said...

AgeUK could be helpful

kate steeper said...

Going quietly mad seems to be a feature of life at the moment , doesnt make it any easier . Our GPs are their usual shit useless selves , im having really bad medication problems and i got totally ignored after umpteen attempts to use Ask Doctor online . Mental health services practically non existent. self refer for talking therapies theres a two year waiting list . Adult social care there anybody there? . So many are struggling on the caring front its unreal

Anonymous said...

You have said in a previous blog that you have a retirement flat paid for if you need it. Would this be better in that if it has a communal room your hubby could meet up with people giving you a break.

If you keep on you will become ill and then hubby will have to accept help, have you tried to explain to him that you need a break?

Ruth said...

Yesterday I read about a suggestion for panic attacks. "Think of yourself as a tree, with deep roots growing from your feet down into the earth, keeping you secure and stable." The writer, Susan Branch, said it helped her a great deal.
I think the social services in every country are shrinking. There simply are not enough people available to help those who need it. Perhaps we all need to be better neighbors and talk to those around us, rather like the women who used to hang out their wash and chat across the back fence with the next woman.


When one of the residents went into the attic above the summer house they discovered that the roof was leaking. The manager organised a coup...