Saturday, 8 May 2021

Heart breaking

I watched Home Truths yesterday, Ian Wright talking about domestic violence, he suffered badly as a child and although he had anger issues he seems to have released these on the football pitch rather than on his family. 

There is a boater who posts on Facebook, she criticises her local social services for taking her children away. She sees no problem in subjecting them to her lifestyle of alcoholism and domestic violence.

Three out of my four foster grandchildren were removed from their parents because of drug/alcohol addiction and domestic violence. The children are doing well now, but two of the children are still affected by what they endured and who knows if problems will occur once they are old enough to have their own children.

There are two members of my extended family who were affected not by domestic violence but by a total lack of love from their parents. One had a mother who only wanted daughters,  she was cold and disinterested, the effect on her children was such that they were given full time free nursery places in the 1970s to offer them some level of care, when such things were rare.

The other child along with a sibling was seen as an encumberance after a divorce, shunted from pillar to post, relative to relative,. The parents rowed continually about who's turn it was to care for the child who was unwanted by both. This person now struggles with feelings of inadequacy, and despite being successful in their career has doubts about their own self worth.


Heather said...

It made me feel very sad too. A close relation used to work with young victims of domestic abuse until recently, she still works in her local refuge once a week. Her job has just changed and she is now working with youngsters who have witnessed abuse. Thank goodness things are improving slightly. Your daughter has my admiration for fostering, I'm sure it's not an easy job at times.

Anonymous said...

Did you witness the boater subjecting her children to violence? If so did you immediately phone the police?

Or was it something you just heard from someone else?

Debby said...

Anonymous, if the woman is an alcoholic, it leads to a very chaotic life. Money, emotions, just daily living...getting clean clothes, meals on the table, etc.

There are other forms of child abuse besides violence, and it is very easy to see when someone has a lifestyle that is not amenable to rearing children.

(signed) been there, done that, got a teeshirt.

Anonymous said...

Debby - Hester said Violence. "A boater who sees no problem in subjecting them to her lifestyle of alcoholism and domestic violence"

If I saw children being involved in violence I would call the police, wouldn't you?

That was why I asked Hester if she had actually seen it for herself or was she repeating something she had been told.

Hard up Hester said...

It is the boater herself, when criticising social services, who details her drinking habits and punch ups with her assorted partners. She feels this is normal and that everyone lives a similar lifestyle.


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