Disclaimer:- Not all twats wear hats, not everyone wearing a hat is a twat.
Today has been a two twat day.
Firstly we had a twat in a hat who, after taking photo's of the outside of the boat, stuck his camera against the window and started taking photos of the inside. I was rather tempted to drop my keks and moon him but decided just to give him the finger.
After stroke club we walked Beano up to the next lock, there were two boats leaving the lock and two waiting to go in. One was a singled handed liveaboard boater with 40 years experience, the other was a hire boat.
Some hire boaters are very experienced and know what they are doing, this wasn't one of those. There was a crew of 6 or seven, they looked like an extended family
Grandpa, grandma, mum, dad and two or three teens. Grandpa was IN CHARGE and was wearing a hat to prove it. He had no idea what he was doing but he was very good at yelling instructions, including telling the single handed how he should be going through the lock.
Grandpa insisted on telling everyone how to tie up their boat (when there are two boats side by side in a lock, they aren't going to go anywhere so don't really need the front middle and back rope to be tied) he was issuing contradictory instructions which only grandma tried to follow.
Once the lock gates were open he climbed on to the roof of his boat and started shouting All Aboard and Cast Orfe in his proper captains voice repeatedly. Unfortunately he then realised that once everyone was aboard there was no one left on the bank to shut the gates and the twat couldn't steer towards the bank as he was still standing on the roof of his boat!
9 comments:
Someone like that Grandpa is always entertaining at a safe distance!
You do find 'em!
Still laughing!
Life on a boat, never a dull moment 😂😂
Ex-husband and I did several boating holidays, and loved it, but I know what you mean about idiots on the water. The worst ones we saw were a group who ignored several Weir Ahead signs and were happily ignoring everyone who was trying to warn them. My favourite memory is of a navy blue narrowboat chugging along one evening, chap in his sixties, peaked cap on, and a glass of red wine on the roof of the boat. Style!
I think it's twat season....
This did make me laugh. Wehave all met them - canals or no canals.
You don't need a TV for entertainment, do you? I'd have been tempted to fetch my chair and have a ring-side seat.
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