The Dr doesn't want to increase Steve's anxiety medication as he believes that Steve should be able to cope. He feels increasing the dosage would be for my benefit not Steve's.
We have no social services involvement whatsoever, it isn't deemed necessary.
We don't receive attendance allowance as Steve can manage physically. Mentally he struggles.
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Today.
I'm cooking the Sunday roast again today, I can't face another ruined meal at 8 o'clock at night with Steve either in a strop or...
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As the title says, I have hit a bump in the road, not a physical one, but a bump never the less. Therefore I will not be posting for a while.
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My pension was paid into my bank today, I immediately transferred £200 into my savings account. I need to start building up my savings as th...
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I miss the cuddles and the sex, I miss not being able to walk past him without him copping a feel. I miss his dreadful jokes and I miss him ...
13 comments:
So different to Scotland. You can self refer to Social Services which I did. I then got a personal carer who washes me twice a week. Offers respite for my husband. I can also access a nearby drop in place for my anxiety. So sorry you do not have this. Bloody tories.
Att All is payable for mental incapacity, too. If Steve has to have frequent care throughout day and or night (on the basis he cant be left alone for long and has anxiety I would have thought this may 'fit'?)then he should fit at least lower level criteria
(58.70/ wk, I think)
Sorry - posting from phone so it sometimes goes weird. Sounds like it could be worth a look at again - if Steve was laid off to due not fit for work is that also mentally unfit? - could be supporting evidence for a claim.
What about Carers Allowance? - do you get that? I know the forms to claim anything are horrendous, but a DWP office can normally help you whizz through them (at an appointment of course...)
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Can I suggest you get in contact with Age UK or Citizens Advice Bureau and get help filling in the forms for AA. Age UK helped me get it when my husband was diagnosed with dementia and helped me through the appeal when my husband was initially turned down.
I feel for you its hard coping and banging your head against the same brick wall xx
Thank you everyone.
We cannot claim carers allowance as I've already retired. We are currently battling with the form for ESA new style, all 24 pages. I am trying to persuade Steve to get help with the form but he is in full on " I'm a man I don't need help" mode.
Sorry to hear you and Steve are having a rough time. There is a group called TakeOffWorks that have weekly mental health support groups you could both go to try and see if there are any near you it might just be something Steve will agree to and they are very supportive and not judgmental at all.
Sending hugs. Nice of your doctor to think that Steve *should* be able to cope. I'm mentioning the obvious (because you are frazzled) but does he have anyone 'official' to advocate for him - and could you get another opinion?
I feel uncomfortable making suggestions, because I'm sure that you have thought of it all, but I thought I'd add it in, and I think you are being awesome. I'm not underestimating how tough it is, so keep venting here and know that lots of people are on your side.
Sending all good vibes x
Steve would get PIP not AA due to his age, have a look at the forms and see which areas he needs help and support x
Thank you.
Never worry about making suggestions Lyssa, I'll look into anything that is suggested.
Steve has been refused PIP and told to apply for ESA New Style.
Sally I'll look into that.
Sorry, hope you don't think I am poking my nose in but if he has been refused PIP have you contested it? A lot of people that are entitled to PIP are refused first, from what you say it sounds to me like he should be due something. My husband gets both ESA & PIP. He's had a stroke & can no longer speak, eat & like you with your husband has lost all his confidence & I have to help him socialise etc. HTH
You certainly have some good and knowledgeable folk offering helful suggestions.
I do know that folks can fall between the cracks in getting help. My own mother (living in the W. Mids) paid herself for a cleaner who also purchased some groceries for her. Paid for a morning and evening carer to get her up and put her to bed and purchased Meals on Wheels lunches.
The only free thing she got on NHS were toenail trimming and (this was wonderful) free incontinence panties.
Yeah cos God forbid that anything should be done for your benefit. I'm sure Steve "should" be able to cope admirably if you broke.
Maybe you should just ask for some anxiety meds yourself. Steve will still struggle as much as ever, but you won't care as much....
This seems a very intrusive suggestion: could you film Steve? Show the doctor what he is like?
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