Tuesday 26 September 2023

I can't abide a bully.

Despite being short and fat I was not bullied at school. I perfected looking slightly vague and disinterested and so the bullies tended to leave me alone.

I had an employee who admitted to being a bully at school and when I told her I'd not been bullied she told me why. She said she would only pick on people who she knew would cry. She would never have picked on me in case I hit her back and she'd lose face.

I only suffered from bullying once, I had a line manager who didn't like me and as she had the support of her boss she did her best to make my life hell.

I'm not the sort to cry, I'm more likely too lose my temper and thwack someone. I didn't lash out but I did leave. I also made it quite plain why I was leaving which made my line manager very unpopular.

Bullying isn't limited to children, we have a resident here who is a bully. I've had a few run ins with her and always refused to engage. Unfortunately this means she has now started to pick on someone else and is causing a lot of problems. She asked me how I stopped the bully. Unfortunately she is far too polite to tell the bully to feck off. I don't want to get involved but I will suggest she speaks to the court manager, I will also speak to the court manager about my experience.

6 comments:

Ellen D. said...

I'm glad you are helping your neighbor who is being bothered by the bully. Sounds like you know just what to do.

Col said...

I hate all bullies with a passion!
I was bullied at school for many years, and still have the scars on the front and back of my legs from where I was kicked so hard repeatedly that the skin ruptured and the muscles were damaged.
Nothing happened about it of course, I was just an ordinary girl, from an ordinary family, and the bullies were all from the areas wealthiest families, so in the eyes of our headmistress, could do no wrong!
These days the police would be involved, but in the early 60s, no such thing happened!
Many, many years later, my worst bully started working with me, and apologised for all she had done. Apparently it was all because I was far cleverer than her and her wealthy friends. They couldn't cope with anyone being better at anything than they were!
She didn't stay working with me for long, I don't think she could cope with me being her boss, even though I treated her well, and didn't attempt to 'get my own back'. She was dismissed when it was discovered that she was bullying a much younger woman in a different department. I guess she's just a bully, and that's the end of it!
Nobody can bully me, or anyone I'm connected to now, I will not tolerate it, and stand firm against bullies in all walks of life!

ana s. said...

Maybe you could also practice with her to show her she is capable of standing up for herself. Tell her to practice in the mirror also. But the practice will help her break thru the "deer in the headlights" feeling we get when surprised by something we should immediately respond to. You are a good friend to help her.

I always tell my mother in law it is a good thing I don't live where she does because I would not tolerate the bullying and issues they have even with a resident manager.

flis said...

I think that's where I go wrong - I've always thought the bully would stop when they saw that their behaviour had upset me - It's happened a lot in my latter life by several individuals - No matter how polite Ive been to the bully - they just got worse and more aggressive x

Sue said...

Yes, you just have to perfect 'the look' don't you. I remember a girl I knew at school saying to me 'no one would dare to mess with you, you have the look' ... I thought I had a friendly face!!

But the look also worked well with my sons and they often remark to this day that they wouldn't mess with Mum 'when she has that look on her face'.

PatsyAnne said...

Are you alright? Since you haven't posted in almost a week, I'm a bit worried for you. Please let us know all is OK.

I've shrunk.

I've always been short, 4'11 in my youth and I've shrunk as I've aged. I met up with my oldest grandson on Thursday, he was ...