Ham, ham, ham

I was passing the butchers and noticed a large piece of ham reduced from £12.99 to £6.99.
I do have plenty of ham in the freezer, but my L&M loves ham so I bought it, cooked it & my L&M sliced it. Half of it is in the freezer this is the other half, thicker slices to be served with egg and chips, these are also ready to be packed away.

Meatloaf

Not the singer, but something I always make after Christmas as a way of using up the last of the sausage meat.

Mix together equal quantities of raw mince and raw sausage meat, if you want to stretch it further add some made up packet stuffing. 
Add a generous squirt of ketchup and some mixed herbs if not adding stuffing.
Mix it all together thoroughly.
Mould into a loaf shape or put it in a loaf tin lined with baking parchment.
cook about 180 for about 40 mins to an hour depending on the size.
This is nice with mash, cabbage and gravy and can also be sliced and used as a sandwich filling.

Another payment,

Another month off the mortgage term.

The mortgage company, of course, had to play silly buggers once again. 

Last time I made an overpayment, I was told I had to pay £500, any other amount would only reduce the monthly payments and not the term.

Today I phoned to make a payment of £500 and was told that any such payment would only reduce the monthly payment and not the term.

Cue a conversation through gritted teeth, the chosen amount this month it seems is £562.09 exactly.

A payment of £562.10 would also only reduce the month............... You get my drift by now I'm sure!

Barring any unexpected bills, we may be able to make another payment next month, depending on whatever exact amount is needed by then.

My L&M

Cheryl, he even comes up on my phone as My Lord & Master, it makes everyone laugh.

Someone pass me a wooden spoon

I felt the need to do some stirring.
I gave one of hubby's colleagues a lift on Christmas eve and he was telling me all about a vehicle technician  apprenticeship his 16 year old stepson was doing.
It is allegedly the same as my son did about 12 years ago.
But there seem to be some major differences.
When my son did this he was employed 3 days a week and at college 2 days a week.
The stepson claims to go to college 2 days a week but has no employment on the other days.
My son got paid, not much admittedly but something.
Stepson claims he needs £500 pcm payment in cash for the college course, I asked if there was any paperwork to backup this claim but it seems not!

This morning the same colleague asked for a lift to hospital and I agreed. It seems my concerns regarding the 'apprenticeship' were passed on to the colleagues wife, she's not happy with me as 'I'm just trying to cause trouble'.

I wasn't trying to cause trouble, but I am now. 
I've been on to the appropriate websites & forwarded the links, the 'apprenticeship' the stepson claims to be on doesn't exist, and they have been paying stepson £500 in cash every month since September!!!

Good Idea

Jean has suggested a headband with speakers in, thank you, I will try that next.
I will remove the speaker from the pillow and make a headband to attach it to.

Today I am Leftovers Queen

All the turkey, ham & beef have been sliced and frozen in plastic containers.

The scraps of ham and turkey have been mixed together, I will add some mushrooms, onion and white sauce. I will cover it  with puff pastry to make a couple of pies and then freeze them.

The scraps of beef have been made into potted beef by adding some cooked onion, herbs and butter. 
I whizzed it all together and will serve it on toast.

The last three slices of french bread have gone through the whizzer and are bagged in the freezer, they will be used next time I make a lentil loaf.

Today I'm making bubble & squeak with the left over veg I will serve it with a fried egg and some pigs in blankets.

Comments

Thank you to all those who have commented on my posts, I have now had an answer to why my local shops have 'Seattle's best Coffee' signs out side, so thank you to Ana and Lilly's Mum for the information.

Also an anonymous commenter asked what my L&M stood for, so for anyone who doesn't know it stands for my Lord and Master. This is a bit of a joke as everyone who knows us knows I wear the trousers in our relationship.

How many no spend days

can I manage in January?

Well I have enough food to feed a small army, apart 

from leftover turkey, ham and beef, all cooked, sliced

and in the freezer I have minced beef, liver, a 

couple of pork chops and 3 or 4 packs of frozen white

fish.

I shall need bread soon, but that is all. We still have 

beetroot, leeks, cabbages and brussels in the garden.


Two of my DGD's have birthday's in January, I've 

already bought their gifts, Frozen dolls, £9 each, 

reduced from £27.

Hopefully I will managed at least 15 days when I 

don't spend anything, I'm not counting bills, they all 

come out on 1st of the month.

Seattle, really?

I live in Berkshire in England.

So why are there signs outside two local shops claiming the sell the best coffee in Seattle.

Seattle is 4,762 miles away, if the coffee has travelled that far I'm not convinced it would be any good,

Sleep and the lack thereof.

My L&M wanted to buy me a go pro camera for Christmas, I think he wanted to put in in the car!
No bloody chance, he witters and whinges throughout every journey when he is in the car with me. The last thing I need is him recording all the journeys I do alone and then critiquing them afterwards!

My L&M is still having trouble sleeping so is listening to sleep music, he tried  sleeping in headphones but nearly strangled himself. 

So he tried playing the music through his phone, hanging the phone from the bed head. Unfortunately he is so deaf that he needs the music quite loud, put it this way, I can even  hear it in the bathroom when I get up in the night!

In the hopes of getting some peace I bought him a speaker pillow , no good he can't hear the music through the pillow (I can)!

So it's back to hanging the phone from our metal bed head.

Last night the problems were twofold, firstly my L&M was restless so as he tossed and turned the phone was swinging around and every time it hit one of the metal bars it went BONG!

Secondly the new pieces of music our SIL downloaded has bells on it, so every few minutes after a few long drawn out notes the phone plays a very loud 'TING'.

I used to have recordings of some Bach that was very relaxing to listen to, but I cannot remember what it was, I will try to track it down.

My beloved has now decided that the best thing would be some small speakers!!

Oh let joy be unconfined, hopefully if  he get decent speakers the music will be less distorted and easier to listen too.

You can't have Christmas without a new.......

Well I finally succumbed, I've seen all the adverts telling me that my Christmas won't be a success  unless I refurnish my entire house ready for any passing visitors.

So today as soon as I'd dropped hubby at work I rushed to the local shopping centre to make my purchase.

Actually a friend mentioned that B&M had a lot of cake cases & sprinkles reduced, I get through a lot of both when the DGC visit as they love to bake. I stocked up with four tubs of cake cases, two packed of petit-four cases (ideal for making sweets) and 16 different types of sprinkles.

I also bought a new bath mat, I splashed hair dye on the cream one in the main bathroom & nothing would remove the stain. So I bought a lovely thick fluffy blue one, it cost £6.99. Cheaper than buying new furniture but just as nice.

And finally

Some good news, DD has had some money from a PPI claim, hopefully enough to buy a new cooker, the door has fallen off hers, and also to fit double glazing to her house, woo hoo!

The Managment

There are many different management styles, some work better than others.

Two of my four children work, or have worked in positions where they have been in charge of a team of people. They both received regular training to enable them to do their jobs.

When I had my own business I had people working for me.

I remember one of my employees criticising me for making tea for my staff. 
She felt this was beneath me as the boss. 
We worked as an assembly line but as I was constantly called away to deal with phone calls from suppliers and customers I couldn't be part of the assembly line. 
Therefore I made tea and sorted out any problems that arose etc.

We have a couple of teams at work where the management style is of the bullying kind. 
One person is chosen to be the scapegoat and then that person is harried and bullied mercilessly.  
This keeps the rest of the team in check as everyone is scared of being chosen as the next scapegoat.

Then there is the passive/aggressive type of management. I'm constantly in trouble for being bad tempered and negative, so my boss gave me a book entitled 'The little book of sunshine' a book of motivational sayings for people who have difficulty seeing the brighter side of life

Well considering what I am dealing with at the moment, plus one of my DD's has just had an emergency hospital referral, I sometimes think it's a miracle I'm still standing, never mind being sodding cheerful.

An ordinary day

Just an ordinary day here, it started with me netting a corpse out of the fish tank. Then I scrabbled under the TV stand to find the remote control my DGD had lost there.
We have visited the crem to look at plaques, I'm not keen, the garden of remembrance is scruffy and poorly kept. 
I really don't want to have to drive over there every week to keep an area of it tidy.
Hubby saw a plaque he liked, it's £800 his mum would be horrified, I will be talking it over with hubby tomorrow,see if we can find a compromise. 

Mellow Yellow

Lemon zest soaking in vodka to make Limoncello and 2 jars of lemon curd, I made six jars but they proved very popular as Christmas gifts.

Co-op meal deal

I often check out the Co-op meal deal though I don't often buy it.
I bought it a few weeks ago when it comprised a chicken pie, chips, carrots, jam rolypoly and ice cream.
The chicken pie did 2 meals each for hubby and I, the jam rolypoly and ice cream made a quick pud for one day when the DGC were visiting.
There are still chips and carrots in the freezer.

The current deal is shown above and comprises a turkey crown, Yorkshire puddings, parsnips, sprouts, roast potatoes, stuffing balls and a viennetta. 

We won't be eating this as our Christmas dinner, apart from the parsnips but all of it will come in useful over the next few weeks.

Sleeeep

Neither my beloved or I are sleeping well at present, hardly surprising is it.

I'm managing 5 hours a night and I feel like I need 8 hours, hubby is only sleeping for short periods at a time.

I downloaded some sleep music for him to listen to, it was eight hours to be played continuously, supposed to ensure eight hours of sleep.

Hubby seems to have found it helpful, unfortunately as he is quite deaf he has it playing rather loudly, for the whole eight hours!

I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep through the music playing, neither could I go and sleep in the other room or downstairs as I would normally do.

The loss of his mum has left hubby feeling very insecure and when he wakes during the night he immediately reaches out to check I'm still there, if I'm not there he wakes up in a panic.

Two more get ups

Sadly lacking in the sleep department at the moment, we had to be up at 5 this morning and we were both still awake at 3 am.

Two more get ups for me, I'm sure I can manage, just about.

Hubby is working until Christmas Eve and then has a 10 days off, he hates Christmas and would rather be working.

I've finished my Christmas shopping, such as it is, I have bought hubby a rose called 'Mum in a Million' I will buy a wooden tub to put it in and am organising a plaque with his Mum's name on it.

Family  problems have reared their ugly head again, FIL is metaphorically cycling round the family, alternately falling out and making up with them again.

We are currently in favour, so we are bearing the brunt of the telephone calls and other communications.

The black sheep BIL is threatening FIL and legal action is being taken over this.

Meal plan

Last week I was only feeding me so I managed with what was in the fridge  and cupboard.

This week hubby will want a meal each evening.

I have chicken thighs and minced beef defrosting in the fridge.

I have leeks, carrots, onions, potatoes and cabbage.

Some of the leeks carrots and onions are sliced and ready to put in the slowcooker with the chicken.

Once cooked some of the chicken will be used with some stir fry veg from the freezer to make chicken chow mein, the rest will be served as chicken casserole with mashed potatoes and cabbage

Some of the veg are chopped finely and in the other slow cooker with the minced beef, a handful of orange lentils and a tin of tomatoes.

This will make a cottage pie and then spag bol, I'm sure there will be enough leftovers to use for some lunches too.

Facebook status

I posted a photo on Facebook yesterday, not something I do very often, but I ended up having DGD Suzy for the afternoon whilst her dad took DGS to football. DGD Eileen was here too as she stayed Friday night.

All the DGC's love my hubby, he is very much their favourite, it's nice as he is their step granddad so there is no blood tie, just love.

Suzy is the only DGC who prefers me and won't go to my L&M, I'm not expecting it to last, I'm sure she will soon warm to him.

I noticed a post on FB posted by an neighbour, she posts the minutiae of her life on FB, mainly about how hard done by she is, on the SW group I belong to. 

She often posts the 'Hit like if you want a cure for cancer' or 'Hit like if you love your daughter' stuff. 

I love all my children and obviously I want a cure for cancer. I don't need social media to acknowledge this.  

So my neighbour had posted 'The one thing you need to know about me is that my kids come first.'

My neighbour is in her 40's and has two children who are 4 & 10.

Knowing her as I do that means:-

First, after whatever bloke she is currently shagging

First, after the bottle of vodka she is currently sinking.

First, after she has had three nights a week out drinking and brawling.

I could go on!

Loving someone especially your children means being there for them, helping them, supporting them. 
Posting crap on social media does not count as love!

Christmas insanity comments

Jill, no unfortunately is wasn't said in jest.
Sue, that made me laugh, we are all over 40, three are over 50 and I'm over 60!
Trish, to be fair all the staff that are leaving have been there a few years and there is no pressure to contribute. I will contribute to the collection for one person I know well.
I don't ave any problems saying no, I refuse to join in with most things, I find this helps some people who otherwise would be too nervous to refuse.
And as for the matching red Santa dresses, I have a plain red dress I will wear.

Christmas insanity

It can be an expensive time of the year this Christmas lark. 

We don't go mad, we buy gifts for the grandchildren between £10  and £20 a head. 

We buy extra food so we can feed the family when they visit.

We budget for all this and do it without using plastic or going into overdraft.

But then there is work, 5 people leaving, would I like to contribute £3 towards a leaving gift?

Two Secret Santa's, £5 would I like to join in? Yes to one, no to the other.

It's traditional to contribute to a gift for the line manager, £6.75 this year.

Two Christmas do's, would I like to go? One is £30, the other is £45, plus fares and drinks, no thanks to both.

The end of term buffet, could I please donate some cartons of fruit juice, just a couple of quid.

Lets all dress up on the last day of term, lets all spend £16 in Primarni on matching dresses that we will never wear again.

This comes to about £50 without the Christmas do's.

Simple soup

When you are fed up with festive food and the cupboard is almost bare, try this soup recipe.

1 potato
1 carrot
1 onion

Peel and chop the onion.
Scrub & chop the potato and carrot

Cover with water, add salt and pepper if you want, bring to the boil, simmer until cooked.
Mash it all together or blend with a stick blender.

This is one of my favourite soup recipes, it cost less than £1 for 4 servings.

Getting to grips

With the diet, I finally made it back to Slimming World today, I have put on 3lb, considering what life has been like for the last few weeks I'm very pleased.
I'm back on track and mostly on plan.

With Christmas, I'm not trimming up, I used to, I love all the glitter and sparkle, but my L&M hates it and his constant whinging has worn me down.
I've ordered my fruit and veg from the local farm and my meat from the local butchers.
I have bought most of my Christmas presents, just my L&M left and I know what I'm getting, I just need to get it organised.

With the housework, the house is still tidy, once it was done I've kept on top of it.

With the finances, another lump sum paid off the mortgage this month. Another round of belt tightening next year to see how much extra we can pay off it next year. 

No shopping this week.

I have only myself to feed this week for evening meals.
My L&M is on the late shift and doesn't want to eat at 10pm when he gets home.
I don't need to buy anything extra, I have enough food in.

Tonight I'm having homemade leek and potato soup, the leek is from the garden, I have some potatoes in the fridge.
I melt a teaspoon of butter in a pan, add the chopped leek & potato. I use the green of the leek and I don't peel the potato, but you can if you prefer.
Stir the leek and potato over a low heat until coated, then add a pint of water, a sprinkle of mixed herbs, salt and pepper. 
Turn up the heat, bring to the boil, reduce the heat and simmer until the potato is soft.
I blend mine with a stick blender. There will be enough for lunch tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will have hummus and crackers, 
Mash half a tin of chickpeas add a squeeze of garlic puree, little water and a squeeze of lemon juice, I like a sprinkle of paprika on mine, serve with crackers and shredded lettuce as I still have some in the garden, again, there will be enough left for lunch tomorrow.

Wednesday I'm making casserole.
I have a small carrot, half an onion, a few mushrooms and a few broccoli florets, I'll cook these, add the rest of the chick peas and a squirt of tomato puree and a sprinkle of herbs. I'll serve it with a jacket potato.

Thursday, I'll have scrambled egg on toast.

Friday, I'll see what's left and see what I can make without going shopping.

Weekend

Our visitors didn't bring their child with them so that has made things a little easier.
Because they were waiting for child care they didn't arrive until very late, so I have had a nana nap today.
The house is still fairly tidy, so apart from the washing I'm having a lazy weekend.
My son was intending to visit but he has a lousy cold so he is staying home and keeping his germs to himself.
I feel very sorry for our visitors, they moved to Cornwall a few months ago at the wife's insistence. Her mother had already moved there last year and so they decided to follow.
So far, it isn't working out it, they are too far from the family to get any regular help with child care.
The job isn't turning out as expected, they live a 10 minutes from the coast but never go there.
They love Cornwall and the people but are missing other things.
Hubby & I are taking another look at our budget ready for the new year, nothing major, just a few tweaks to allow us to pay more of the mortgage each month.

Always look on the bright side of life!

I have had my damaged tyre replaced, the manager remembered who I was without me saying anything and applied my son's discount to the tyre, a saving of £20.

I had the money to pay for the tyre so it has been an inconvenience, not the crisis it was when this sort of thing happened  a few years back when hubby and I were really struggling. 

Having fussy visitors due has concentrated my mind on getting the house tidy (I frequently suffer from CHAOS too Lyssa).

There have been some complaints lately at work about certain problems with my work. I have explained that the causes of the problems are twofold. One problem is caused by poor quality and distortions within original designs, these are then being magnified by the machine lenses. The other problem is caused by staff refusing to follow instructions regarding the use of the machine.

My explanations were ignored, other people were tasked with producing the same work on the same machine but of improved quality. This has not proved possible I am already doing the best I can within the capabilities of the machines.

Today an outside expert was called in, he repeated exactly what I had said. The staff need to use the machines correctly and I need to be provided with better quality designs if an improvement of finished quality is required.

Buggery bugger

The side wall on my front tyre is damaged, £115 more joy!!

Well bugger me sideways

There was I bemoaning my lack of get up and go, and what happens?
A phone call, from a friend of hubby's who moved to Cornwall a few months ago.
His mum is in a nursing home and has deteriorated suddenly, the nursing home have asked that he visit as a matter of urgency. 
He, his pregnant wife and toddler are coming up this weekend.
Guess what?
They have nowhere to stay, they cannot afford a hotel room for the 2 nights they need to stay.
So I'm clearing out the spare room, there is a greenhouse in there at the moment.
I instructed hubby to inform them that they are welcome to stay but the place is a tip, if they don't like it they can sleep in their car, they have the choice.
Oh well, it might make me do something in the genre of housework, but it won't be much.
Oh and I won't be feeding them, the wife only eats chips and only drinks coke!

If found please return to.......

I seem to have lost my get up and go, it left the building some time ago.

I'm not feeling on top form, nothing specific, just a bit meh.

I'm managing to produce a cooked meal every day that one is needed, though shock horror I did use a bought pie one day. 

It depends what shift hubby is whether or not I cook, I do if he's on the early or day shift,  but when he's on lates he doesn't finish until 10ish and doesn't want to eat that late.

I'm managing to keep us in clean clothes and this week I changed the sheets, I didn't do that last week.

Apart from those few tasks the house is deteriorating around me, we are neither of us very tidy at the best of times and this definitely isn't the best of times.

Other stuff isn't getting done, I sit on the sofa looking at the mess, I can see what needs doing but I'm incapable of rousing myself enough to do anything, apart from knitting/crochet.

The some of the family have decided to get together to scatter MIL's ashes, unfortunately they have chosen to do it the one day hubby can't make it, despite him saying it was the only day he couldn't do!

Questions are now being asked about items missing from MIL's belongings, jewellery etc, well I know where one piece is, it's on my finger and has been since October 2014, when she gave all her daughters in law a piece to remember her by.

Grief and loss

I was married to my first husband for 25 years, but 10 years into our marriage, when our fourth child was 3 months old my husbands father died suddenly.

He died 1 day before he was due to retire, he died because he was given a dose of morphine, he lied to his Dr and said he hadn't been drinking when in fact he had and drinking heavily.

Because he was officially still employed when he died his wife received his full works pension and a generous life insurance payout.

Everything was left to my mother in law, she was able to give up work and have a holiday every year.

This had a devastating effect on my husband, his son. 

He became depressed and his personality changed, he became someone I didn't know and couldn't love, he refused help as he believed the problem was with the rest of the world, not him.

He developed twin obsessions, money & sex.


I am now watching my second husband's mental health being destroyed, not just by the death of his mother but by his family, fighting amongst themselves & trying to drag him into the arguments.

Fortunately he is turning to me for support, I have kidnapped his phone, I've turned it to silent, and I'm vetting all his calls. I will fight them all tooth and nail if need be to protect him. 

I refuse to lose another husband!

Black Friday spending spree

It's been a really busy day today, I've been out of the house for 12 hours and I still have to collect hubby from work.
Still it is Black Friday and there are bargains to be had, allegedly.
My spending spree consisted of a reduced sandwich from my local Tesco, 73p!
A colleague spent her entire lunch break explaining how many shops she was planning to visit after work as some are open until 10pm.

Five scarves and a birthday

Because of it's proximity to MIL's funeral, my birthday was very low key, not that it's ever high key.

I couldn't think of anything I wanted so my L&M paid for my new winter coat, he usually buys me a bouquet of flowers, but we were given some a week ago and they are still going strong. 

DD1 took me out for a pizza, DS2 bought me a box of chocolates, DD2 gave me a mug with photo's of the DGC on and DS1 forgot, lol.

I've been asked to knit five scarves in different colours for a local nursery, they shouldn't take long and it will use up some of my stash.

Funeral

It was MIL's funeral today.

It all went very much as expected.

The funeral directors forgot the flowers.

BIL2 refused to carry the coffin.

His wife lost the plot, screaming, swearing and hitting people with her handbag.

She finished by spitting in my face because I bowed to the coffin instead of curtsying.

Pension woes

I received a tax statement earlier this week, to my surprise I am being taxed on an extra pension that I am not receiving. 
Things are still stressful here but one day next week I will be phoning the tax office to find out about this other pension that I am allegedly receiving.
Obviously it could just be an error or it could be that my ex is in fraudulent receipt of an old pension of mine.
Either way I need to sort it out, it could mean almost £150 extra a month for me.

I read an article in the paper today, it says that 'Older people will remain immune from austerity, as pledged in the manifesto'
'The Treasury has asked all departments – except protected areas such as the NHS and the foreign aid budget – to come up with huge cuts to bring down the deficit. But older people will remain largely immune from austerity, as pledged in the Conservative manifesto.'
Pensioners will receive an extra £3.35, well that will certainly keep the wolf from the door won't it!

Fecking yummy mummies

I love the photo above, my DGD is a complete urchin and looks like the child hanging upside down on the barre. Having said that she does behave impeccably during class as she loves it so much.
On Friday's I collect my DGD Eileen & take her to dance class, the class is only 30 minutes long but sometimes it seems like hours.
Despite notices and polite requests from the dance class owner many of the siblings of the dancers are allowed to run wild in the waiting area for the duration of the class.
What really pisses me off is that these yummy mummies and daddies are either on their phones or chatting to each other about little Jacinta's prowess on the violin or Ferdinand's incredible ability with quantum physics, whilst little Jacinta & Ferdinand are beating 7 bells out of the smaller children or running around screaming at the tops of their voices.
To be fair there are a couple of mum's who sit and read to their child or talk quietly, unfortunately there are another 10 who ignore their children and their behaviour.
I know a few of the children have just come from school and need to let off steam, but there is a sodding great playing field next to the dance class, they could run around there and release some of their excess energy.
Yesterday one little charmer was trying to persuade the younger children to put their fingers in the door jamb so he could trap their finger and make them cry.
He also ran at my DGD and attempted to hit her, until I stepped in and did my 'Touch her & I will visit a world of pain upon you' speech.
At this point daddy did try to remonstrate with me, but changed his mind when I squared up to him, all 4' 11 of me.

Cakes for work

Chocolate brownies waiting to be sliced, I sprinkled icing sugar on half and left  half without as one of my colleagues doesn't like icing sugar.

Three ingredient fruit cake, fruit juice, dried fruit and SR flour, I added mixed spice too.

Hokey Pokey cheesecake.

In the morning I will made a batch of cheese palmiers, they are better made fresh.

Rain, wind & general stupidity

It rained today at lunchtime & what's worse it was windy too. Anyone who works in a school will tell you that the kids go loopy when it's windy. The kids who normally just walk calmly past my office were, today running past, screaming & switching the corridor lights on and off. Until, that is, I stepped out of my office and did my best impression of an RSM. Suddenly they all stopped dead, turned the lights on and meekly went on their way.

The calm before the storm

Life here is calm and peaceful, well apart from my L&M shouting at the TV, it's the GP later and he will be shouting lots, lol.
I bottled my blackberry vodka yesterday and my damson vodka.
I will bottle the damson gin today, I've frozen all the alcohol soaked fruit, I will make boozy jam at a later date.

I will also pickle some beetroot today, then that just leaves the quince jelly to be made.
I'm thinking of making a batch of limoncello next.

I need to make cakes for work at the end of the week, I'm making a 3 ingredient fruit cake, hokey pokey cheese cake, chocolate brownies & cheese palms for those who don't have a sweet tooth.

The funeral is still some time away, BIL2 is ignoring the solicitor, but she is fighting that battle so we are keeping out of it.

FIL is finding solace in the bottom of a bottle and we are all taking it in turns to visit and phone him with varying degrees of success.

Free shopping

A couple of days ago I received my Tesco vouchers that I save throughout the year.

These are mainly from my petrol purchases as I don't buy that much of my food there, I prefer to use the local butchers, bakers etc

This morning I went and got my vouchers doubled and I bought pants, tights, vests and socks for the DGC. 

I got a list of what was needed and the relevant sizes from my DD's and I shopped 'til I dropped. 

It's not much of a contribution but every little helps when they have so many children between them.

I also picked up some meat bargains as I was there so early, a shoulder of lamb for £2.69, that will do for lunch tomorrow. 

I also got some belly pork and some stewing steak for the same price.

The belly pork is in the freezer and the stewing steak is simmering on the hob with onions, turnips, mushrooms and carrots.

Comments

Thank you for all your kindness and thoughtful comments, I'm sorry I haven't replied to you all individually.

A few specific points have been mentioned that I will explain:

Yes I do think BIL2 has mental health issues though I don't really know him well, he does show some very strange behaviour traits.

FIL is their stepdad, their father died when the brothers were aged 5 to 15. FIL and MIL met and married after the brothers were grown up and mostly had families of their own.

Although FIL is irritating we will do everything we can to make sure he is protected, unfortunately he is his own worst enemy at times.

Funeral & Will

BIL2 is an executor of MIL's will but he is refusing to deal with the solicitor who is the other executor. 
If he continues to refuse he will be removed as an executor.

FIL was confused and booked the wake the day before the funeral, BIL3 has now taken over the arrangements and booked them both on the same day!

FIL's confusion is not helped by him starting on the booze at breakfast time.

FIL is still complaining about being harassed by BIL2 but has decided against having his locks changed, we have suggested he blocks BIL2's number on his mobile phone, he has refused this too.

All done

My lovely mother in law died at 1:30 today.

We were phoned by FIL at 9:30 this morning and set off soon after, we were there by 10:30.

BIL wasn't there, he'd been asked to leave after starting a brawl with FIL.

FIL, my hubby and another daughter in law sat with MIL, I stood beside hubby.

The rest of the family waited elsewhere in the hospice, unable to sit and watch.

.

Rollercoaster

Well after yesterday's visit when we thought MIL was unlikely to make it through the night, today we visited & she's sat up in bed eating porridge!

FIL arrived whilst we were there, brought in by another family member, he was very tearful and worried, he has been told by BIL2 yet again that no visitors are allowed apart from BIL2 and his wife.

He has also been yelled at by BIL2 and blamed because the rest of us are still visiting.

So Monday when we visit I will be having words with the hospice team. They have been very good and insisted that BIL2 & wife leave the room when anyone else arrives, but I'm not having FIL bullied in this way. If all else fails I will involve the police.

Another day

Another visit, MIL was asleep for most of the time we were there. I sat in reception reading to start with as she has been moved to a single room and there were already 3 people in the room.

BIL is back from his holiday and he visited after we left, he was intending to visit tomorrow, but hubby phoned him to suggest he visited sooner rather than later.

MIL was on oxygen when we arrived, but after a while she asked to see me and wanted the tubes removed, I helped her take them off. We checked with a nurse who said whatever MIL wanted was fine.

We will visit again tomorrow if she makes it through the night.

Hospice

Thank you all so much for all your kind comments, 

MIL has finally been moved to the hospice,

we have been to visit her and she looks so much 

more comfortable already. We are looking at a 

timescale of day's only, but the change in her 

treatment has been incredible, she has pain relief

via a pump, the right amount of pillows, an extra 

blanket on her cold feet & unlimited ice cream as 

this is all she can eat now.

I had a bowl of soup at 10:30 yesterday morning & 

then nothing else 7:30, we spent a couple of hours 

 with MIL, an hour with the staff who are speaking 

to FIL and encouraging him to visit, they have 

assured him that MIL needs him and they have 

offered BIL2 counselling,  hubby & I will 

take him to visit at the weekend.

We drove home through a downpour of biblical 

proportions, as soon as I'd dropped hubby home I 

had to go back out to collect neighbour and drive 

her to the vets to collect her dog, this took just 

over 2 hours, I suppose as the vet is charging 

£2490.64 she thought she'd best make the 

appointment last as long as possible.

Hip Hip Hooray

MIL was moved to the hospice today!!!!

Going from bad to worse

Another day, another hysterical phone call, FIL is now speaking to us again, BIL2 has banned all visitors to MIL. 

FIL is desperate to visit MIL, but too scared of BIL2, MIL is pining for FIL.

I phoned the hospital and was told that we can still visit but BIL2 is standing guard to stop everyone getting near her, we will visit tomorrow and take FIL if he wants to go. 

I'm expecting security to be called! 

My lovely contact at the hospital assures me that we are not the worst family they have had to deal with but I find that hard to believe.

She asked me today 'You are supporting your husband, your father in law and 2 of your brothers in law, who's supporting you?'

I sat and sobbed at my desk, fortunately no one came in and saw me.

Hospital PALS

Another hospital visit today, well we go at least every other day & sometimes daily.  Today I visited PALS, I have previously phoned them, I have enumerated my concerns & things have improved considerably.

MIL is now on hourly pain relief, staff are checking on her more frequently & her buzzer is now within reach instead of behind her head.

FIL is no longer speaking to us, we had a phone call from his neighbour complaining about our unkindness to him.  He's told the neighbours that we drive past the end of his road & never offer him a lift to hospital!

I explained that actually we drive past his motorway junction & it is a 45 minute diversion to collect him, and we offer to collect him every bloody time & most times he refuses, often rudely.

Still no hospice bed for MIL, but I phone daily to check on the bed situation.

Every time I sit down I fall asleep & my hair is still falling out.

Let's play a game

MIL has chosen 'All Time High' sung by Rita Coolidge to be played at her funeral. She chose the song as it is how she feels about her husband, he is her 'All Time High'.

This made me think, what song would you chose to epitomise your relationship?

I'm still trying to think of an appropriate song for my relationship.

Attic 24 and Wool Warehouse

My early birthday present to myself.

I won't do the log cabin blocks on the Attic 24 CAL, I will just do the granny stripe.

I just fell in love with the colours, I ordered the yarn on Wednesday and it arrived on Friday, what fantastic service.
Maybe a little crochet will help keep me sane.

Samhain Blessings

Tonight I will don my black velvet cloak and witches hat.

I will keep my besom in the hall along with a bowl of sweets. 

I will have a lit pumpkin on the doorstep and will welcome all the little & not so little visitors with 'Samhain Blessings'.

Last year just after Halloween my DGS had lots of local kids saying to him 'Did you know your  Nana was a witch?'

He replied 'Of course I knew, she keeps her besom on the decking'

Families who'd bloody have them

God give me strength, another evening of countless phone calls, text messages and stress.

We visited MIL this morning to find her crying with pain, she has painkillers at 6 am and at 9am the staff roll her to and fro to change her sheets. This causes her a great deal of pain yet she isn't given any more pain relief when she asked for it because the staff are too busy making beds.

I found a member of the nursing staff and queried this, she told me that MIL couldn't have any more pain relief in case she becomes addicted.
She's fecking dying, she has about 10 days to live, what does it matter if she becomes addicted!

I wandered around until I found the registrar who was on his rounds, I explained the situation to him  and he immediately wrote her up for increased pain  relief.

There may be a bed available early next week in the hospice for MIL, I sincerely hope so.

It now seems that FIL is getting more and more confused and sometimes forgets to pass on important information regarding MIL.

So hubby and BIL 4 have been updating each other and other extended family members so that everyone knows what's going on.

FIL now thinks we are talking about him behind his back.

We asked if he wanted a lift to see MIL and he replied 'Your services are no longer required'.

Choices updated due to errors

It was a very long day today, with many difficult conversations and many tears shed.

The doctor was careful to include everyone in her discussions despite BIL's bluster and demands for the rest of us to be excluded.

MIL was better today than she was yesterday, despite thinking she was in Scotland a few times.

We sat a chatted to her until she got her bearings and the doctor decided that she was lucid enough to make her own decisions.

Her kidneys have failed and yesterday when she was dropped again by the staff her drainage tubes were pulled out.

The doctor explained the options a few times & I held her hand and checked that she understood the implications.

MIL was given the choice, she can have the drainage tubes back in and wait for the cancer to kill her in a few weeks, or leave the tubes out and kidney failure will kill her in a few days.

She chose not to have the tubes replaced, so she will be allowed to die pain free and with dignity within the next few days.

She will be moved to the local hospice if a bed becomes free in time but that may not materialise.

We stopped for a meal on the way home, when we arrived home we had a cup of tea, listened to music and held each other for a while.

Hubby is at work tomorrow, we will visit MIL on Friday and at the weekend.