Thursday, 2 January 2020

Bleak

Some days I just feel bleak, not tearful or angry, just bleak, I've been like this for a while now.

The weather is dull, dismal and cold. We had a few hours of sunshine on Christmas day but none since.

Over the last few days I've made an effort to do more than just the bare minimum, I've cleaned the fridge out, a job I hate as it makes my hearing aids whistle. I could take them out but then Steve complains that I'm not listening to him.

I've defrosted the freezer and Steve helped me move the sofa bed so I could clean underneath it.

Tomorrow I'm planning on sorting out some clothes to take to the CS next time I'm passing.

What a boring post, but unfortunately that's life.

13 comments:

Susan Bell said...

Hugs to you Hester, xx

justjill said...

Sometimes doing the mundane stuff helps. Really.xxx

Pat said...

Not boring at all - it's life as you say. I have the bleak feeling too Hester, I was recently reading something about how we deal with a partners disability, that it's normal for our feelings to veer between sadness and anger and hopelessness. Supposedly ending with a feeling of acceptance, the same feelings as grieving for a partner who has died.
I've had the sadness and anger, reverted back to sadness then hopelessness. Now that horrible bleak feeling. Still with some sadness, especially when the tears fall on waking. Wondering if I'll ever get to the feeling of acceptance. To accept what is.
Belated New Year wishes to you.

Chris said...

We only had 9 hours of daylight today but things will improve as the year progresses. You probably are suffering from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) which affects lots of people during the short days of winter.

Lyssa Medana said...

Sending hugs.

You are putting one foot in front of the other. That is a victory.

Also sending good vibes.

shyleigh said...

You could have sat and pouted or been mean. Instead you got some chores done - means you won't have to do them tomorrow, which will make it a better day!! You are doing the very best you can and that is all anyone can really do. Hope there are some bright spots coming your way!!

Sue in Suffolk said...

keep on keeping on - the only way to go

Hard up Hester said...

Chris, you are probably right, it's dark inside the boat anyway as the windows are small and the walls are wood.

Pat, I think it's the "no end in sight" that exacerbates the feeling.

Anonymous said...

Sadly this time of year makes feeling bleak pretty much the norm for many people, even those that don't deal with as much as you do so it's not at all surprising that you feel that way!

Here's hoping that there is an upturn in the weather soon (otherwise I'm certain we'll all turn amphibious!) and a help to break at least some of the bleakness.

Hugs, Caroline xx

Col said...

We have sunshine in Cheshire today, it started off bleak, but as the day has gone on, the sky is getting bluer and the sun is getting brighter!
I've put in a special request for a load of it to head your way, and to shine straight in your small windows, thereby showing any dust lying around......it's showing every speck of dust in our bungalow, so sorry, but if you share the sunshine, you have to share the dust too!!
Just keep on buggering on Sue, it's gets a cock's stride lighter every evening, it'll soon be spring! X

Lynda said...

I tend to feel the same way about this time of year, too....I think it’s lack of light and past holiday memories of family that never happen anymore. I try to keep busy and get out with friends until it passes....
Hope you’re feeling better.

ShellyC said...

Bleak, bland, blunt, blank all of the words as applicable. It is also the time of year as it is so overcast.
Seasonal Affected Disorder is a good name for the feelings we experience.
Just one foot in front of the other is sometimes all we can manage, but it's a start.
Keep rolling on, as best we can.

Living Alone in Your 60's said...

The gloomy days post Christmas are real mood owners. I have to remind myself the daylight will get longer each day. Getting out and about each day walking my puppy really helps.

Today.

I'm cooking the Sunday roast again today, I can't face another ruined meal at 8 o'clock at night with Steve either in a strop or...