I don't have to stay with Steve. I could divorce him and walk away. I couldn't live with myself if I did that and so I keep buggering on.
Anonymous I'm not sure why you think I should have a social worker, it's never been suggested and none of the people at stroke club have one. Steve's care is not classed as medical, his physical problems are minor it's the mental problems and he has been told to get on with life.
Our wedding vows.
14 comments:
I am in Scotland. I get free care via Social Services. It could be through them you can get some support. In Scotland I could self refer which I did and its been good support. I dont know about England but it might be worth looking into.
Your vows are beautiful. Respect to you for keeping going. Hugs to help you keep going. x
Bless you, Sue. Your vows are lovely - and you have certainly been faithful to the 'trad' ones "for better, for worse, in sickness and in health". Pay no attention to the opinion of others - you must listen to your heart. Your resilience and courage are amazing. Praying that you will have love, peace and joy (and no more burglaries at the marina) over this Christmas season xxx
Mental health provision is - sadly - shocking :( and (whilst better than before) understanding of this 'invisible' health issue is also lacking.
Having been the support behind someone with long term mental health issues I also think that support for anyone in that position is also incredibly poor - usually non existent
Just got to keep on keeping on... x
Your wedding vows are lovely
This area has a very bad record with mental health help - it's been rated as failing. When i went to try and find help several years ago all got was watching a film - made by a Scottish mental health provider about people with depression due to drinking!
I'm sending a few ((hugs)) in the hope that every little helps
There is one particular anonymous that takes great joy in visiting and trying to sap your soul , theyre very fond of dropping a pool of negativity into your blog then deleting the comment once theyre pretty sure youve read it . Blocking them means you lose so many very nice anonymouses and i quite like the anony mice its just this one particular anonymous. they quite obviously have a big problem with those who choose to care , displaced guilt maybe ?
Totally understand you for not giving up, Steve is struggling and needs your help even if he is not able to show it. My hubby has had 2 major operations in the past year, and really needed me, we get married for the best of times and we deal with the bad times as well. I do admire you, you are a strong woman.
Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy reading your blog. Thank you for sharing it with us. I rarely comment but wanted to send you seasons greetings and best wishes for the coming year. I admire your spirit and feistiness. Go Hester!!!! X
Those vows say it all. Thanks for sharing...
I doubt whether there are enough social workers in the country to cope with all those who have problems caring for their spouses!! I suspect that traditionally the marriage vows were formed "in sickness and in health" because people realised that, at some stage, health issues would arise.
However, it is surely possible these days for each health board to produce an online interactive chart directing people to the appropriate sources of help for their circumstance, rather than letting each individual battle their way through the system with little guidance. There are many self-help groups in each area who could be listed on such a site. Why doesn't some university get its computer students working on such a project?
You sound just like me rant and rave the get back to work. The lovely marriage vows TO LOVE HONOUR AND CHERISH.
Thank you for your comments.
I prefer not to block anonymous comments as most are kind and interesting.
I also think that the people who feel the need to post nasty comments probably need to vent somewhere as they must be very unhappy.
So sorry that you’ve had a nasty negative comment. My husband has early onset dementia for almost 8 years now, he still looks like my husband but at times what he says and does are so out of character to the man I married 37 years ago. It’s hard at times, I go upstairs have a good cry and then back downstairs and carry on. He’s stopped eating certain food as he doesn’t like the texture anymore. I could never walk away that’s admitting defeat and that’s so not me. I honestly think you’re the same, chin up..... pull your big girls pants up and carry on. Sending you a huge hug xx
You are doing the best you can and that is all you can do. That being said, if you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be able to take care of Steve. My heart goes out to you. I have followed you off and on for years now. I’ve worked with dementia/mental health patients most of my working life. It isn’t easy, it’s draining and will wear you down if you are doing it alone. I really hope you can take a little bit of time for yourself when you can. Family and friends sitting with him a couple or few hours a week would help so much. Sending positive vibes from across the pond!!
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